Tuesday, 10 January 2012


Just kidding.

I would be absolutely remiss if I didn't include a blog for my top movies of 2011. Movies are preeeeeetty much all I care about, except boobs (movies with boobs), and they're preeeeeeeetty much all I write about (blogposts with boobs), so this is where we find ourselves. More talkin' about movies. And boobs. 2011 was the first year in a long time (probably 2006) that I've actually seen enough films to make an informed top of the year list, and not just making a list of the ten movies I saw at the cine in the last 365 days. I have to say that seeing stupid amounts of movies was one of my favorite parts of 2011, it's been a long time since I've just geeked out and seen everything I could afford to. And with that fervent tenacity, here is my list for the best films of 2011.

MOVIES I DID NOT SEE THAT I REALLY WANTED TO, THEREFORE CANNOT BE ON MY LIST. Here are some flicks that, if I had seen prior to making my list, definitely could have made it on there. But I didn't see them. Wah.
Take Shelter (Jeff Nichols)
Beginners (Mike Mills)
The Future (Miranda July)
Another Earth (Mike Cahill)
Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (Thomas Alfredson)

HONORABLE MENTIONS. Movies that I loved a lot, but didn't quite make it on the top ten.
Super 8 (J.J. Abrams)
My Week With Marylin (Simon Curtis)
Super (James Gunn)
Whinnie the Pooh (Stephen J. Anderson, Don Hall)
The Muppets (James Bobin)
The Artist (Michel Hazanavicius)

And now the real deal:

10. Attack The Block (Joe Cornish)
Fast, funny, well made, and totally true to the genre. I dig movies that take a premise we are all far too familiar with (alien invasion) and giving it that smallest tweak that doesn't try to "reinvent" it (i.e. douche it up). In this case, the heroes are teenaged Cockney thugs. It's simple enough, and doesn't change the movie formula, but gives it a fresh perspective . Oi luv dem Cokenay boastards!

9. Shame (Steve McQueen)
Michael Fassbender's huge dong.

"It's big. It's real big."

8. The Descendants (Alexander Payne)
I really like Payne's movies, but when the trailer for this hit I wanted to hate it. It just seemed so...cheesy, maybe? But it's not. It's great. It's well written (BY DEAN PELTON MAY I ADD), well acted, and made me feel emotions. Real life human emotion. Cool.
No joke. This guy was one of the screenwriters. Hell yeah.

7. Midnight In Paris (Woody Allen)
Yes I have a soft spot for Woody Allen, and yes I was an English major, so this movie was pretty much made for me. And I loved it.

6. Young Adult (Jason Rietman)
This movie is funny, sad, and very challenging. I think the it's an incredibly ballsy picture. There aren't many romantic comedies that start off by making you dislike the main character, and then, by the end of the film, makes you like her even less. Charlize Theron is forever cool with me. Patton Oswalt already was.
"Guys like me were born loving girls like you."

5. Tree of Life (Terrence Malick)
It's not really much of a "movie," and can totally be seen as bloated and pretentious (which it kind of is), but I responded to it emotionally on levels that not many movies can reach. It's just a really beautiful film. See it once.

4. Melancholia (Lars Von Triers)
Another beautiful, complex film. I found it a bit more watchable than Tree of Life. Kirsten Dunst can actually act. And gets naked. Yessum. But really, it's a great movie. It takes a simple idea, the end of the world, and redresses it, telling it through the lens of two sisters, both dealing with it their own, completely different ways.

3. Hugo
A movie celebrating the life of movies. It's a wonderful love letter from Scorsese to the humble beginnings of film, cleverly disguised as a children's movie. It works on every level, is fantastic, and made me smile the entire movie.

2. Martha Marcy May Marlene (Sean Durkin)
This movie surprised the absolute shit out of me. Except for John Hawkes being awesome, that didn't surprise me. The movie is haunting (a totally douchey word, yes, but it really is), and overall is so successful because of the performances by the non-Olsen twin Olsen, and Teardrop himself, John Hawkes. The main reason this movie ended up so high on my list is the ending. It is WOAH.

1. Drive (Nicholas Winding Refn)
Movies like this are reasons I go to the movies. I can't fully describe why I respond so strongly to the movie Drive. It is just a near-perfect viewing experience for me. It's all about the feelings and the vibes created by the fantastic direction and score/soundtrack. Barely any words are spoken throughout the movie and there don't need to be. It's the most atmospheric and unique action movie made possibly ever. And it has a scene where Baby Goose stomps a dude's skull in. Ohmygodawesome.

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