Wednesday, 7 March 2012


I could totally be a TV sitcom writer (he thinks to himself, smugly, daily, while sipping a hot cup of his own frothy piss). Writing for TV is not hard to do. It is hard to do WELL, sure, but have you ever seen sitcoms? They're mostly the worst (unless you're Community). It's all just following the same formula with each episode (unless you're Community), and trying to keep your viewers comfortable with the characters you've created (unless you're Community). With that in mind, I totally believe that I can come up with a few good pilots that could easily become decent TV sitcoms (read: Not as good Community, but still WAY better than Whitney). Oh look, it took me ten minutes and I just came up with three! (Note: None of these ideas came from my life. Or Community)

My First Marriage

Nick (totally not based on me, I promise) and his friend, the unfortunately named Ember, are both unsuccessful writers down on their luck financially and romantically. To help revitalize their fiscal saituations, writing, and lives, they decide to get married. The two think it's a hilarious notion, Nick being excited to "get that pesky first marriage out of the way." Both are sure it will mix things up perfectly, and give them new perspectives on relationships and friendship for their writing. Of course, nothing is ever that simple, and the two quickly find out they may have gotten more than they bargained for when they became "husband and wife."
Long Distance

Two best friends, Nick (totally not based on me, I promise) and Brittany, have been back in the states for some time now. One lives in Chicago, and the other lives right outside of Columbus, Ohio. When they lived in Bangkok they both raged hard, but since being back in America, Brittany has calmed down and settled into a quiet (boring?) life with her new boyfriend. Nick on the other hand, is forever the partier (too much partying?) and living the single's life. The two talk daily (via text, phone, skype) to fill each other in on the details of their lives. They help each other get through and learn from the day to days of their extremely different post-abroad lives.
The Rev

A young musician, Nick (totally not based on me, I promise) is dumped by his longtime girlfriend for not caring enough about their future. After pining horribly over her, he resolves to win her back and prove he cares. Through misguided advice from his best friend and fellow musician Brett, he decides to become an ordained minister and begins performing marriages. But when he finds out it's going to take a lot more than that to win her back, Nick realizes he actually kind of likes marrying people. Through different wedding ceremonies each episode, he starts to learn more about relationships and himself than he ever thought he would.
See how easy that was (Of course you can't see, you didn't watch me type this. Or...did you)? That's three solid sitcoms right there, and I actually do think one of them could probably be turned into a halfway watchable TV show. Especially if they got someone young and fresh to play the main parts. Maybe someone familiar with the subjects of the shows. Someone who, while not professionally trained, knows personally he has quite the acting chops. Maybe he has long hair? Okay, okay, it's me! I should play the main characters! Or Danny Pudi. That guy is AMAZING.

Here are some awesome Community clips for your eyes and brain!