Look, let's just get this out of the way: I didn't cry during Paddington 2, which is a sequel to the children's movie Paddington, about (presumably, I've never seen it) a CGI bear who was British before he moved to London, and ya know, made friends and shit? It's based on an old English children's book series (presumably, I've never read it) and the main thing I knew about it before today was that he wore a red hat, and a blue coat, and I definitely didn't cry during the sequel that I saw today. I didn't go to see this movie by myself, a 30-year-old adult (however I do use that word lightly), a children's movie with a fake bear and a British accent who teaches us about manners and eats marmalade sandwiches, and I definitely didn't cry at the end when everyone in the town comes together to prove Paddington right, that if you keep your head on straight and actually care about the people around you, whether they're your family or even a scary, complete stranger, then things might just work out your way. I didn't fucking cry, okay?
The other thing that this movie definitely has going for it is, and this is also surprising, is the humans! When are the human counterparts in kid's movies like these anything but an annoying distraction and an obvious excuse to cut down on costs instead of just making an entirely fucking animated movie? Answer? Garfield 3: Feline Fine in the City (I made that up right now and I am not a 100% sure that it's not a real title). But actually, the cast in the movie is fantastic. Sally. Hawkins. Is. In. It. Sally Hawkins!!! Anything that can ever remind me of The Shape of Water I want immediately stuffed in all my face holes. I love her so much, and she brings the same heartfelt and sincerity to her role as here as Paddington's second mother. She's bubbly and excited and honest and an absolute delight (I almost wish she didn't talk, but that's neither here nor there. Gah, I liker her as an actor so much).
The movie has some really nice sequences and animated flourishes and look really good. It's cute and sweet and has some fun action throughout as well. And it successfully sells its message of friendship and good manners, as much as I may have resisted it while I was watching it. Paddington is just so good and kind no matter where he goes he can leave an infectious happiness that transforms everyone around him to being a better person. That single idea makes me feel ill, and yet this movie never actually made me feel that way.
I am. I am getting teary-eyed. I really liked this movie. It was cute as hell.
Grade: A Hundred Marmalade Sandwiches
My biggest complaint with the movie is that when he transform the prison cafeteria into a cake and tea shop (like I said this movie is ridiculous) they don't make ANY savory items. All sweets and desserts. C'mon, Paddington. Don't you wanna eat some Shepard's Pie or some Fish and Chips or somthing? Damn, dude.