Wednesday, 25 April 2012


Tonight I am once again joining with the evil forces of the culinary world to record another video cooking blog. A VLOG if you will. But that won't be done for a while SOOOOOOO let's put up a bunch of silly pictures of me cooking tacos! Okay, Nick! Thanks, Blogosphere!

So here is how to make an old school taco, with nothing but tasty meat (haha), onions, cilantro, and lime.

[Editor's Note: There are no limes in this Cooking Blog. I make the proper substitutes. Back off.]

You sure need onions! That's a small yellow onions. Onions are delicious! Did you know why onions can make you cry? Because you're a little bitch.

This is cilantro! It's delicious! It makes everything smell and taste so fresh! Those Mexicans sure know what they're doing!

This is chicken. Or as the Mexicans call it, POLLO (Pronounced Poy-YO, because Languages are crazy!) Here are two chicken breasts. They come from the chest portion of the chicken's body. We eatin' titties.

Calm, reflective, ready and willing, but not over-eager....but really, aren't I cute?

If you make tacos and you don't use cumin then I just don't understand you. I tried, and I don't.

Salt. Pepper. Whatever.

Tortillas. No big deal.

Okay seriously, everything about this picture I love. Cheese is optional for old-school taco. But. If ya got it, ya know. Fuckin' cheese rocks.

Sour cream, also not necessary, but delicious. I recommend adding three tablespoons (a healthy dollop) to your partner's chest before love-making commences.

Hey. Make it spicy, buddy. Make it spicy.


Seasoned! Cook the chicken until it looks like....

...this. And don't ever stop trying in life until you look as bad ass as I do. Just some advice.

I cut up the chicken using my mad knife skills. I got razor sharp skills and I got razor sharp blades y'all. Hater's gonna hate but that shit ain't mean nothin' to the hardest werkin' and twerkin blogger in da blogosphere yo! It's like mah boy C-Tates always be sayin', "It ain't whack to be dope, YO!"

Okay, I'm really sorry, but I didn't realize I didn't have limes until halfway through making these fucking tacos. So instead I put lemon juice on it. Okay? It's almost the same. I said I was fucking sorry.

Hey kids.

Put the meat, cilantro, onions, lime (lemon) juice (and cheese and sour cream if desired) into the tortilla. I guess you could heat up the tortilla or bake it a little or something too, but I was kinda drunk by this point so we just weren't little bitches about it and we ate em as is. Like bosses.

Deliciosity. Enjoy your tacos, you fuckers.

Mike Ortiz eats tacos! Mike Ortiz is also allergic to latex, I found out that night.

Mindi's gross. She's sexy and I want her, but she's gross.

Kristen steals Jake's taco! Jake seriously punched her in the face right after this picture was snapped. There was a lot of blood. He broke her cheek bone or something. I don't know I'm pretty sure she's fine now. Dig.

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