Tuesday, 28 February 2012

What's On Netflix Instant 3

In addition to Netflix Instant, I am also one of those people (read: lavish, decadant, and embossed in solid gold) who has real life DVDs sent to his house, adding to his viewing feast. I'm also one of those assholes who kept the same movie out for something like four months because I lost the red envelope and somehow kept telling myself I was one day actually going to finish Never Let Me Go (Spoiler Alert: I didn't). But I've finally gotten into a good flow of actually watching the movies they send me. And I also remembered that Netflix releases all new DVDs at the same time as the stores, so I fixed up my queue (I don't even know why I thought I'd someday watch The Book of Eli), and lately I have just been kicking ass at watching movies. Seriously, I'm really good at it. I watch all the good ones. I wish I could recommend those movies to you, because everyone should get a chance to see Michael Shannon stare creepily and feel undeniable dread for two hours. But I can't recommend that movie (I highly recommend that movie. It is a masterfully made film. Also Jessica Chastain) because it's not on Netflix Instant. So instead, here are some shitty things to watch on Instant!

Half Nelson (2006) - Ryan Fleck

So, Drive (Nicholas Refn-Winding 2011) is pretty much my favorite movie in a long time. It takes the awesome 80's pink & neon style and violence of Grand Theft Auto Vice City, and combines it with a French new Wave kind of anti-hero cinema. And what do we get? We get Ryan Gosling being the cutest, most endearing, skull-stomping criminal on the planet. I could watch Drive every day if the world would let me (or I bought the DVD). Drive is not on Netflix Instant. So instead, I rewatched the movie that put Ryan Gosling on everyone's radar, and proved he wasn't just that cute prick from The Notebook (they should call that movie, "The Boring Book!" Amiright? Sorry, I never even finished it. It is really boring). Gosling stars as a young (and dreamy) crack-addicted Middle School history teacher in the inner city of New York, who's life is pretty quickly spinning out of control. Goddamnit, Baby Goose, how do you do it? How do you keep taking these parts of extremely damaged, possibly psychotic characters, and still all I want to do is be your little spoon? The movie is pretty good, but Goose is the reason it stands out in anyway. Gosling was nominated for an Oscar for this role (which is the equivalent of a fart, yes), but he really is amazing in it. Check it out if you love Ryan Gosling. If you don't love Ryan Gosling, go to the doctor as soon as you can to get your heart fixed, you goddamn robot.

Dead Man (1995) - Jim Jarmusch

Speaking of skull crushing, you have to see Dead Man. I think this Jarmusch film is a little overlooked, and that's a damn shame because it is so bizarre, funny, and surreal. It was dubbed by its creator as a "Psychedelic Western." Are you fucking kidding me? If they made that into a clothing line I would staple the entire catalogue onto my body. Johnny Depp, who is actually playing a role I like, is William Blake. No, not that William Blake, just another William Blake who, around the turn of the 20th century, finds himself in looking for a job in the ass-end of nowhere. He's wounded and framed for murder, and quickly becomes the most sought outlaw in all the land. With the help of very smart Native American, Nobody, who mistakes Depp for the real William Blake, the two go on a journey through the human mind and the meaning of life and death. Sound heavy? If I didn't do a good enough job selling the flick, that's just beacuse I'm a stupid fucking white man.


"Pulling" (2006-2009) - Sharon Horgan and Dennis Kelly

I keep saying I'm not the biggest fan of British humor and then I keep recommending that all you bastards watch it (have you seen the ever seen the show "Spaced?" I hope not, BECAUSE I HAVEN'T RECOMMENDED IT TO YOU YET). "Pulling" is...to describe it in the most unappealing way possible to ears, the British "Sex and the City." The night before her wedding, Donna breaks it off with her unimpressive fiancee. And from there she moves in with her two best friends, one is completely clueless and borderline a stalker, and the other a raging alcoholic. I know the phrase "a British Sex and the City" should never be uttered, but it's not just that. It's really raunchy and is actually more honest about modern day relationships and dating than most shows I've seen. It also has that inevitable, everything is going to go wrong vibe, which I don't normally find very funny, but works here. It's kind of like a British "Curb Your Enthusiasm." GOD, I HATE THAT SHOW TOO! WHY DO I LIKE PULLING?

Oh yeah, it's really fucking funny. And I have a strange Irish crush on Donna. I like her voice, and I like her downplayed sexuality. And I also like "The Increasingly Poor Decisions of Todd Margaret." Also, her breasts.

There's only two six-episode seasons and then a special episode concluding the series (a la the original Office series), so it's real easy to get through quickly. Which I always like.

Enjoy the flicks. Read the blog. ADHERE TO ME FOREVER!

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