Nick Kaminsky's Food Blog III: Pizza My Heart

This one took a REALLY long time to finally edit, I know. But it's ever so worth the wait! For the first time (on this blog, and in my life), here is Nick Kaminsky's patented HOMEMADE PIZZA; homemade sauce, homemade crust, homemade cheese*, the whole deal. Below the video we have the ingredients written out, as always. Enjoy the embarrassment that is my drinking problem!

*There is absolutely no homemade cheese in this recipe. I don't even know how to DO that.



Sauce:
1 Medium Yellow Onion
3-4 Garlic Cloves (make it as garlicy as you want)
1 Can tomato Puree
1 Can diced tomatoes
Salt
Pepper
1/4 cup or so Red Wine (or wed wine vinegar)

Crust:
1 packet dry active yeast
1/2 cup warm water
1/2 cup milk
4-5 cups flour, plus more for later (This was the part of the recipe that gave me a lot of trouble. I ended up using quite a bit of flour, possibly 6-7 cups worth. Just try it out yourself, you can always add more flour to the recipe as you need to. You just want it to look like a pizza dough by the end of it).
A drizzle of Olive Oil
Sugar
Salt
Oregano

Toppings:
Fresh mozzeralla cheese
Sliced Tomatoes
Sliced Mushrooms
Sauteed Garlic
(Use as much of these toppings as you desire. Have fun. Add your own ingredients. Get just as wasted as I did. Or don't.)

After I finished cooking and eating, I promptly fell asleep on the porch. But don't worry. After an hour or so I rallied and cleaned the shit out of those nice girls' kitchen. Thanks again Saoirse, Kate, and Colleen. I loved getting shitty drunk and cooking pizza in your home.

MORE DELICIOUS INTOXICATION TO COME!

Nick Kaminsky's Food Blog - Episode 2: Drunk Scampi

O Glorious Blogosphere, how I have desired to suckle once again from your gentle bosom! That was weird. Well! Here we are with the second cooking video blog (or VLOG AS THE CRAZY KIDS ARE CALLING IT), made by the only man willing to stoop this low while cooking such high class food! Enjoy the madness that ensues, and the deliciousness that follows!



RECIPE

POTATOES

3 Medium-Large Potatoes, chopped into pieces
1-2 tbsp. Extra Virgin Olive Oil (EEVO)
Salt
Pepper
Roast at 350 until browned and crispy delicious (about 35-45 minutes)

PARSLEY SAUCE

3 Scallions (Just the green part)
3 Cloves Garlic
1/2 - 1 Bunch Italian Parsley
1 tbsp. White Wine Vinegar
Salt
Pepper
Red Chili Flakes
2-3 tbsp EEVO (Slowly drip into the parsley mixture while inside the food processor until you get a texture like in the video. It's awesome that way.)

SHRIMP SCAMPI

2-3 tbsp Unsalted Butter
3 Garlic Cloves
2-3 tbsp. Parsley
1 tbsp. White Wine
1/2 Lemon
Salt
Pepper

Assemble on plate. Add GOAT CHEESE LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!!! Enjoy.

Until next time Blogosphere!

COOKING BLOG - TACOS

Tonight I am once again joining with the evil forces of the culinary world to record another video cooking blog. A VLOG if you will. But that won't be done for a while SOOOOOOO let's put up a bunch of silly pictures of me cooking tacos! Okay, Nick! Thanks, Blogosphere!

So here is how to make an old school taco, with nothing but tasty meat (haha), onions, cilantro, and lime.

[Editor's Note: There are no limes in this Cooking Blog. I make the proper substitutes. Back off.]


You sure need onions! That's a small yellow onions. Onions are delicious! Did you know why onions can make you cry? Because you're a little bitch.


This is cilantro! It's delicious! It makes everything smell and taste so fresh! Those Mexicans sure know what they're doing!


This is chicken. Or as the Mexicans call it, POLLO (Pronounced Poy-YO, because Languages are crazy!) Here are two chicken breasts. They come from the chest portion of the chicken's body. We eatin' titties.


Calm, reflective, ready and willing, but not over-eager....but really, aren't I cute?


If you make tacos and you don't use cumin then I just don't understand you. I tried, and I don't.


Salt. Pepper. Whatever.


Tortillas. No big deal.


Okay seriously, everything about this picture I love. Cheese is optional for old-school taco. But. If ya got it, ya know. Fuckin' cheese rocks.


Sour cream, also not necessary, but delicious. I recommend adding three tablespoons (a healthy dollop) to your partner's chest before love-making commences.


Hey. Make it spicy, buddy. Make it spicy.


Seasoning!


Seasoned! Cook the chicken until it looks like....


...this. And don't ever stop trying in life until you look as bad ass as I do. Just some advice.


I cut up the chicken using my mad knife skills. I got razor sharp skills and I got razor sharp blades y'all. Hater's gonna hate but that shit ain't mean nothin' to the hardest werkin' and twerkin blogger in da blogosphere yo! It's like mah boy C-Tates always be sayin', "It ain't whack to be dope, YO!"


Okay, I'm really sorry, but I didn't realize I didn't have limes until halfway through making these fucking tacos. So instead I put lemon juice on it. Okay? It's almost the same. I said I was fucking sorry.


Hey kids.


Put the meat, cilantro, onions, lime (lemon) juice (and cheese and sour cream if desired) into the tortilla. I guess you could heat up the tortilla or bake it a little or something too, but I was kinda drunk by this point so we just weren't little bitches about it and we ate em as is. Like bosses.


Deliciosity. Enjoy your tacos, you fuckers.


Mike Ortiz eats tacos! Mike Ortiz is also allergic to latex, I found out that night.


Mindi's gross. She's sexy and I want her, but she's gross.


Kristen steals Jake's taco! Jake seriously punched her in the face right after this picture was snapped. There was a lot of blood. He broke her cheek bone or something. I don't know I'm pretty sure she's fine now. Dig.